i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am midnight drunk by noon
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
