I puked a lego.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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