There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
