Whatcha textin bout Willis?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
