It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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