I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
