hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Farmville is her only friend.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
