Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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