No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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