I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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