Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
