boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
