i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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