just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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