I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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