She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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