I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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