i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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