I feel like abortions should bother me more
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
