carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
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