Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
