It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
my poor anus
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
