i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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