she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
