I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize