I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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