i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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