Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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