No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
smell my finger.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
