Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize