Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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