Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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