She announced her abortion via fbk
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
