You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
