K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
