But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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