How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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