She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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