all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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