1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
