I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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