I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
