it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Why is there bacon in the couch?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize