I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
