haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Life without a bra equals bliss.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
