Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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