I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
