Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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