im gay
i know
yea but for you.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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