so explain again why im purple
no
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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