I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize