please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Randomize
