No stitches, just platelets and will power
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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