she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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