glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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