dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm so fucking centered right now
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
