I'm jealous of your bromance
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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