how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
