Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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