like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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