I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize