i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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